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Thursday, October 16, 2003

Goodbye, my friend.

That was the song played at the end of one of my fave episodes of "Wonder Years." I just watched a replay of this episode a few minutes ago. It's where Kevin Arnold's teacher dies. Not just any teacher, but one that was his friend too.

Death is a part of life and yet we live apart from death.

Until it strikes.

I don't think of death much. It's hard to grasp the concept of an end to everything. It's equally hard to imagine how it is to live eternally, but that's a thought for another time. Something happened tho, that made me think about death again. A friend of two different friends of mine passed away early Sunday morning. He died in car accident. He was 18.

18.

At 18, you're just beginning to live. You discover things about yourself that you never knew existed. Your relationships with people change. New beliefs start to replace old ones, new friends enter as old ones leave. You begin to think that you know a lot, and still there's a lot to be learned.

18.

At 18, I hadn't fallen in love yet. At 18, I cut classes and wasted my parents' money. At 18, I started bringing my own car and ended the day by bringing my friends home. At 18, I had a drinking problem. At 18, I went out a lot, wore black, sported a goatee, listened to heavy metal and hung out at Dredd, Tagaytay and Nipa Hut. At 18, I had a lot to learn.

And that's what saddens me about this death. Missed opportunities. Memories that would never be. Lost chances. And I didn't even know this person. But I know that his friends are hurting.

I've lost 3 grandpas. 3 grade school classmates. One orgmate. One former officemate, another from the company I currently work at. These hurt, but I've never had anyone really close pass on yet. I fear the day that this happens. I think that I would be stoic on the outside, but I'd crumble inside. I'd rather die first. But then I'm not ready yet. And that scares me.

It's mostly fear of the unknown. Do we just...

cease

to

exist...?

Or do we all meet each other on the other side?

Death is the end of the world as we know it. And the beginning of a different life for the people that we leave behind...



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