Burning. Drowning. Missing.

Burning.

I rarely get affected. I try my best to be on top of things and rationalize whenever possible. I find it difficult to deal with emotions, and would rather sweep them under a rug. Except for happiness, of course. My "default." But I can't ignore what I'm feeling.

I'm burning up.

I feel hurt. Betrayed would be too strong an adjective, so something close to it. I just found out that a close friend got married recently. Through her friendster. A friend I have valued for so long. Someone that I really trust (and for those who know me really well, you know how cautious I am and how many layers and walls surround me constantly). Wow, I'm typing this really fast. And no errors or typos. Here I am rambling again. It's painful. Not getting invited. Not that it's an obligation. I know it's wrong feeling this way. But I feel it anyways. And it sucks even more, knowing I'm still this immature.

Drowning.

I'm drowning in paperwork. Paperwork that can't wait. Everything is urgent. Everything is important. Everything has consequences if not done (a) on time and done (b) improperly. Has this been done? What about that? And this? And that? I am only one. PUTANGINA, IISA LANG AKO!!!!!!!!

I'm burning out.

And my partner. My closest friend in the team. My tag-team buddy, who I share my load with unselfishly. Is missing.

Missing.

My best friend. My better half. My anchor. The one person that can pierce through this haze I'm in and eradicate all confusion. Is still in Boston. Might extend her stay there. Is no longer present in Yahoo. Cathy. Come home. I miss you.

I'm burning.

But not for long.

Tomorrow is another day.

It's bound to be better. Can't get any worse, right? :)