The Butterfly Effect *redux*

O........kay.

So I go to Greenhills with my sis (and yes, before you ask me if I remembered pupy... yes. I did. I guess everytime I go to Greenhills, I'll remember pupy for the rest of my life). I buy series 7 of Marvel Legends (Apocalypse, Weapon X, The Vision, Hawkeye, Centurion Iron Man and Ghost Rider). Then I check out pDVDs and luckily, I see the new stall of the girl (Amy) who I used to buy from before. I get "The Butterfly Effect," one of my fave flicks. I go home and skip to the ending which is my fave part.

This ending is one that I have never seen before.

FUCK!

One of my favorite movies has an alternate ending!!!!!!!!

Tangina, astig, and this one's way sadder than the one I saw on the big screen. Originally, Evan travels to the past where as a child, he saves the life of the woman he cares for at the expense of their love. They end up never meeting. In the pDVD, he travels even further, into his mom's womb as a fetus... and.... he... kills himself...

Shit.

Ang sakit.

This has to be one of the most painful endings I have ever watched.

Bigat.

Got the same feeling watching the endings of "Dancer in the Dark" and "Grave of the Fireflies."

And the last scenes show how the world continues without him, and how it's better for all concerned that he never existed.

I wonder how my immediate circle would change if I never was.

* * *

Following this train of thought, what point in my life would I go back to and attempt to change...

Hmmmm...

Haha, for the people who know me, my answer's no surprise.

I wouldn't get into a relationship with my 1st love. My ex of 2 years. Nope. Nu-uh.

That shattered me. It really did. So THAT's what I'll change. The greatest pain that I have ever felt will never be....

The Wedding of Sookie and Dondi

Some things in life are inevitable. Sookie's wedding was one of them.

It was nice seeing her again. It's easy to take people you work with for granted because you assume that you're going to be with them forever. Sookie's resignation was a big shock for the team because no one ever thought that she would leave the company she helped shape. Seeing her outside of work, for what may be one of the happiest days of her life was even better. Without the added stress of work, my officemates and I were able to enjoy each other's company even more.

Aside from minor snags at the beginning of the wedding, everything else was beautiful. Sookie was very radiant, her joy very evident from the way she smiled and laughed throughout the ceremony. One of the more touching parts was when she hugged her parents as they were preparing to let her go.

The reception was also a lot of fun. From Forbes to Le Souffle, it was easy driving. I like it when the reception is held very near the church. The food was delish! Especially the strawberry shortcake! All in all, it was a great celebration.

We miss you Sookie. But we know that you are happy, and that more than makes up for it =)

She's Flipped Out

Yes, Wanda has gone mad.

I just got Avengers #503 which was also the last chapter of Avengers Disassembled: Chaos. A lot of things happened in that double-sized issue. We are treated to flashbacks that show how Wanda slowly remembered her two lost children. She confronts Agatha Harkness in a desperate bid to find her kids. Doctor Strange warns the Avengers about Wanda's mental state and when the Avengers confront her, she lashes out. One scene that will forever stay etched in my memory is after Captain America approaches Wanda and tries to bring her back from her madness. Realizing that embracing sanity would end her children's existence, she conjures up the Red Skull complete with a Nazi army that starts shooting at Cap. The powerful scene I'm referring to has the Scarlet Witch hovering above a wounded Cap & a group of shocked Avengers. Whisper Hill is a terrifying backdrop for this scene.

As the Avengers attack the Scarlet Witch, Wanda creates more adversaries culled from the minds of the Avengers themselves. It is only Doctor Strange who is able to defeat her at the cost of her mind. Wanda's brain shuts down completely. In the end, Magneto comes for her daughter and the last few pages reprint the very first time Wanda joined the Avengers during happier days, a more innocent era.

Another eerie scene was when Nick Fury entered Agatha's house only to find her rotting corpse sitting in a lone chair. It confirms that Wanda has indeed murdered her friend.

As early as the 80's, Wanda has always been put through the ringer. The worst of it would probably be during "Darker than Scarlet," where she goes insane. I suppose it was only a matter of time before she breaks down completely. Sadly, that time was now.

Ike's in Dubai

Ike has gone for Dubai and has left his comic book collection up for grabs! Alvin and Tof accompanied me to Ike's place and I was able to get a lot of good comic books for a bargain! My fave picks include JLA: Incarnations, The New Teen Titans and Legion of Super-Heroes! I had fun reading these classics!!!

Jamming

Yeah, I miss jamming with my buds. I miss music which used to be my life.

I miss being part of the BroadAss boys with Ronnie, Patrick, Jobin, Ianco, performing in front of the college, singing Eraserheads songs. I miss those videos we used to make. Campy but real. I miss watching the Dawn with James and Amor, watching live bands at Ultra, driving to Ana's house in Antipolo with Cathy as I try my best to imitate Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins. Or we sing Gin Blossoms and Rivermaya songs.

I really like Moonstar 88 videos. Acel's voice is so... beeeeyyuuuttiiipppulll. I also miss Barbie's Cradle.

"Ayoko ng torpe. Pero gusto kita." Hehehe.

I haven't even watched my daughter perform, my bad. Sowwy Mutchie :(

Mark Jacinto, Mae, Campos, tambay tayo sa Bagaberde!!! :P

Remember?

I first met you at school. That was almost a decade ago. You were a freshman and you were applying at my org. I was one of the officers assigned to your batch, and on your very first interview you cried. You were very refined about it. You asked for a few minutes to compose yourself, turned around and dabbed discreetly at your eyes. Then you faced us again ready to tackle more questions. I thought you were going to quit.

We met again at your batch's acquaintance party at my place. You wore a dress which I think you weren't used to wearing. You seemed really mature at that time. We hardly interacted, especially since you were assigned to someone else and I had my own applicants to take care of. Sette-Sette and Pinky got into an accident going to my place, so Bob and I went with them to the police station to help them make a report. I hardly saw you anymore that night.

Sunday, I called you up. I don't know why. Maybe I was just checking on you as was my responsibility as a memcom officer. I asked you how you were. Small talk. Were you making your costume at that time? It was on that call when I realized how much of a kid you were. So much like me. It was a short conversation, as you were still an applicant. It was only later when you'd tell me that if I didn't call, you would have quit the very next day. Funny how we don't see the impact that we make on people until later on. Or sometimes, we never see it at all.

Two people who at that time in my life were important to me were assigned to you so I guess, by osmosis, I also got to interact with you a lot. I took care of you. Made sure you were okay and that you had the support you needed to pull through. I doubt you needed that 'coz even then you were very strong. You wowed us all when you showed up at the veranda all dressed up despite your mom's warnings. You snuck out. You were that determined.

You made the best write-up I have ever received in my entire college life. A month after, you'd tell me that most of your nights were spent on that write-up. Your mom and kuya would drive by the veranda while you were applying. I would have wanted to tell them that I would never let you come into harm's way. I didn't have to say it. I just had to do it. I "adopted" you when those assigned to me quit.

Something drew me to you. I guess it was because we were both kids at heart. I happily welcomed you into my org . I didn't know that I was welcoming you into my life as well.

College was never the same again.

We'd talk on the phone everyday. We'd be with each other everyday. We had our own little world. Yeah, we worked our butts off for the org we loved, but when playtime came, we usually struck off on our own. I brought you home almost everyday. But before that, we'd go places. You'd come with me to Filbars and CNA in Katips. I'd go with you to that rollercoaster in Sta. Lucia. And for one unguarded moment, I allowed you to take me skating. Only because doing so that time would cheer you up.

In a classic case of "pay it forward," we took care of Chiqui together. Then we were memcom officers together for Carlo's batch. We'd talk about alternate realities, Christopher Pike, your past, my past, everything and anything. I was slowly discovering that your beauty wasn't just skin deep. You were the deepest person I have ever met. And you laughed at my jokes, even the subtlest ones.

And it made me happy that I made you laugh. Whenever you'd have a fight with your mom because of her boyfriend, I'd rush to your house. We even had that picnic at UP just for the heck of it. We ate on the floor of Dunkin Donuts when there were no seats available because we never really cared what other people thought.

People thought we would fall for each other. We did at some point, although at two different points in our lives. I confessed to you during that planning session. A year after, that time I was sick, you handed me excerpts from your diary then zoomed off. That was one of the rare times that I was left dumbfounded. I always was the denser one.

You were the first to know.

We were parked in Greenhills. Another one of those arcade nights, when I'd play Pac-Mania and we'd play that driving thing. Was the arcade called "Carnival Carnival?" I forget.

We'd eat at Angelinos. Play pictionary and playstation. Drive to Antipolo just to jam. We'd be classmates and groupmates. We'd compose our own songs and MTVs. Oh we had arguments. You'd call them "tampupus. But for some strange reason, whenever we fought, we could never let the day pass without making up. I'd drive to Galleria to cool off... and bump into you at our favorite "pauper parking." We finished each other's sentences. We co-wrote the stories of our lives.

You were there when I first fell in love. And there at my lowest point when we broke up. I was a shattered mess that time, not wanting to see anyone. But you. You were always the exception.

I was there when you first fell in love. And there at your lowest point when you two never even came to be. You were angry and seething and I made sure you were never alone.

Come to think of it, I was never alone because of you.

So we learned together. And became stronger together. And yes, we became harder too. We took care of each other. You were the rational one whenever I became illogical. I helped you see things in a different light whenever it was dark.

You fell in love again, and I kept my distance. Things were different now. You were no longer mine exclusively. So I learned to share. And I liked it, because I liked seeing you happy. And in love.

Whenever you'd fight, I try to make you see his perspective. Whenever you'd walk out on him, I'd pick you up. You were the most important person in my life. Guess what? You still are. I think you always will be. If your offer back in college still stands, I'd love to walk you down the aisle one day... and give you away to the luckiest guy that will have you for the rest of his life...

You're in the States now. You prolly won't even read this. But I just needed to affirm how much you mean to me and how much you've helped shape me into who I am today. You never quit on me. You never betrayed me. You have always been the best. You have always been my best.

You're my best friend, Cathy Buena.

And I'll always remember the first time we met. Your absence these days. And everything in between.

Random Thoughts

* I was very happy yesterday! I just discovered a Burger Machine stand at SeaOil, right in front of Reedley! I've always enjoyed BM as a kid, and seeing it very near my place lifted my spirts. See, I've been sick since Sunday of last week. Counting today, that would be 9 days of coughing and wheezing, complete with a raw throat. No, I haven't visited a doctor, and I haven't taken medication, although as per Alvin's suggestions, I started taking vitamins and I consider myself a massive water consumer as of Friday. Anyways, my fave at BM has always been the Double Bart Burger and Sans Rival. Now I can have breakfast after my GY shift at this BM, instead of the scary one along Shaw Blvd.

* Being sick didn't stop me from going to the malls yesterday to get my weekly stash of comic books.

X-Men: Heroes & Villains Chapter 3 - The Brotherhood of Mutants attacks the mansion. Gambit (who's blind!) and Mindee try their best to defend it. It's a relief to see Juggernaut as an X-Man through and through, and his loyalty to Havok is touching. Alex was one of the few people who believed in him and gave him a chance. The scene between Annie and Northstar was also a plus. I can't believe Sammy is really dead.

Madrox #2 - I like seeing Multiple Man back in action, and the added appearance of Guido and Rahne made the book complete! Jamie has always been a character that I could relate to (since the early 90's), so it's nice to see that in his own series, he remains very much in character. I enjoyed his self-analysis.

New X-Men: Academy X: Choosing Sides Chapter 6 - THIS I'm looking forward to each month. The art has improved and I think the story has finally hit its stride. I think Rahne likes Josh but she's stopping herself for ethical reasons, although this issue's last page made me think twice. Kevin chooses Emma and her Hellions and Jay is more than willing to trade spots with him. Interesting. I've always believed that Jay fit in more with the New Mutants and not the Hellions. Sofia and David as co-leaders? Shades of Sam and Dani!

Exiles: A World Apart - Beautiful. Galactus attacks a Skrull-infested Earth! Thunderbird sacrifices himself and falls into a coma. The most heart-rending scene would be when Nocturne hugs T-bird and mistakenly believes that they'll remain in that reality for the meantime. New member Sasquatch suddenly appears, signifying her replacement of T-bird. You can't help but flinch seeing Nocturne in denial as they begin to vanish...

* I've been missing pupy a lot this past week. I dunno why. It started when my friends and I watched "The Grudge." --sigh--

* I played Elevator Action yesterday hehehe :P